MATCHING Donation!

Update #2:

You crazy amazing beautiful people.  You did it!  On Chinese New Year 2016 you donated enough to match the $1,500 matching donation!!  You did it all in one day instead of a whole week!

I commented to my friend Katie (who is an adoptive mama as well)
 "I am totally blown away. And thankful...humbly thankful beyond words. But you know how this is. 
smile emoticon This generosity that brings your child into your arms. It's crazy amazing grace, isn't it?"

And that is how I feel.  Thank you for being part of this amazing grace.  For being the hands and feet of Jesus to bring our girl home.  We couldn't do this without Him working through you. 

I also wanted to give a red envelope update.  We started with 150 envelopes, now we are down to 66! We are over half way through with our fundraiser.  This is crazy wonderful!  Thank you isn't enough but it will have to do.

Also, we will be sending out the packages hopefully, but we are waiting for the chopstick to arrive.  

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UPDATE: Your generosity has blown this away is less than 2 days!!
The donor will now match up to $1,500! 
Please keep donating and sharing....and thank you thank you to everyone who has!

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You want to hear something AMAZING?

An anonymous donor has agreed to match up to $1,000!!!

Which means this is a chance to double the money you give!  If you can donate $20, then the donor will give $20.  All the way up to $1,000!

So here are the rules for this matching donation.

• It is ONE WEEK only - the week of Chinese New Year February 7-14th.
• This only counts for new envelopes taken on our Red Envelopes for Yin fundraiser (click the link here or the tab at the top of the page). Previously-donated money doesn't count toward this. 

It wouldn't take a lot of people to do this, just a few dedicated.

10 people giving $100
              OR
20 people giving $50
              OR
40 people giving $25

This is such a tremendous blessing - it would mean a lot if you could share this link and donate.

Thank you for partnering with us!

Notary, Secretary of State, and Chinese Consulate!

There has been some very exciting steps for us recently.  We wanted to share these with you!

On January 19th we got our addendum to our home study.  That meant we had all the paperwork for the dossier!

CELEBRATE having all our documents!

So January 20th Edmund and I drove to our Secretary of State's office to get all the documents certified.  The people there were so kind and helpful there, from the guard at the entrance who directed me the correct way, to the ladies who collected the documents to be certified.  I was so thankful.

We were finished there in less than 30 minutes!  I took our certified documents and headed toward the mailing place I have been using.

CELEBRATE all our documents being certified!

We went to this mail place I have been using (Edmund was so good this entire day and I thank God for this!) and had copies made, money-order purchased, and finally got all of our documents mailed off to our courier in New York to bring to the Chinese Consulate!

CELEBRATE all our documents being sent for this final step before we send them all to our agency!

That was on Wednesday.  On Friday night we got a huge snow storm.  But I was tracking our package and it made it there Friday afternoon.  I was so thankful to God that He got it there before the snow so I wouldn't be worrying about it.

On Tuesday, January 26th I got an email from our courier saying that our documents were at the Chinese Consulate and they would be mailed back to us on the 4th! 

CELEBRATE our documents being at the Chinese Consulate!

So, this Friday I will be excitedly tracking our package to come back to us so that I can make more copes and send it off to our agency, CCAI!

We have also started fundraising!  Some of you know but we have been applying for grants and have had 3 denials so far.  So we have decided to go ahead with fundraising.  As of last night we had 47 of 150 envelopes donated for!  We are almost 1/3 of the day through our fundraiser.  There are small, medium, and large amounts left. We really are humbled and so appreciative of each sacrifice to given to bring our little girl home.

Continue to pray for us, please.  And for Yin to come home soon.  So, very soon.

Names and Baby Journals

I posted this picture on my Instagram account over eight months ago.  Way before we announced our adoption publicly, and before we even had told most of our family that we had definitely decided to adopt.

My caption said:
New journal tonight. ❤️

That night we started journaling to our little girl.  Much in the same way that we journaled to Edmund the first day we found out we were pregnant (his journal is the animal print on the left, hers is the right with the umbrellas).

As we've been journaling to her I have wanted a name to call her.  An endearment of some kind in Chinese.  But when I tried to look up words and their translations I didn't feel like any of them fit.  So I just left it alone and hope at some point to find the right endearment.

One Saturday when my step-dad and mom came back from church they were sharing about what they had studied in church.  One thing that my step-dad shared was how in Genesis 20 there is a word when dealing with Sarah that has a root word that in Hebrew means "longed for."  I immediately thought of our daughter and how she is deeply longed for.  But when I did a brief search I couldn't find the Hebrew word.

Shortly after that I was reading Proverbs and felt that I should stop at a particular verse and do verse mapping.  (Verse mapping is an incredible Bible study tool, I highly recommend it!)  As I got to the part where I look up the original words and their meanings I remembered about Genesis 20, so I paused and went there using the app I use for word study during verse mapping.  When I found the verse I pulled up the word "silver" and then clicked into the root word.  The root word for silver is kacaph which means, "to long for, yearn for, long after, to long for deeply."

And suddenly I thought, what if "silver" translated in Chinese was something nice and easy that I could call our daughter?  Something that to me and in Hebrew meant deeply longed for?  So I looked it up.

The translation for silver is Yín.

Simple and perfect.  I felt a rush of peace and joy.  I had a name to call her.  An endearment that shows exactly how I feel for her.

Yín, deeply longed for.

银

Can I be honest?

This week has been a rollercoaster for me emotionally.

Monday was incredible!  We got our 1-800A approval.  The last big piece to our dossier!

 Tuesday morning I read during morning worship “Like the endless movement of stars and planets, God’s plans are not rushed or delayed.” (Messiah p. 21)  I felt God calling me to peace and joy during this journey of so much waiting.

Tuesday I wrote a blog for Established in Grace that would go live Thursday about what God has shared with me Tuesday about waiting.

Wednesday I saw a beautiful little girl on Show Hope's website, and inquired to know more about her with our agency.  She will most likely be matched with someone who has been waiting much longer than we have.  That made me wonder how long we'd have to wait to be matched.  The average time is 18-24 months.

Thursday I called our agency to find out more about our timeline.  The lady I spoke to went over our medical checklist and said that someone else who had a similar checklist had waited 28 months from start to being matched.  Which means it was probably about 32 months until they went and got their child.

Thirty-two months.  32 months.  Thirty-two months.

That is about 6 months longer than the longest I was hoping for.  It might sound silly to you, but I felt crushed.  Six months isn't forever, but when we're only about 5 months into this process it feels like forever.  I want to be with her now.

Then we went and got all of our paperwork, that wasn't already notorized, notorized.

Even though getting all that notorized is a big step (we only have certification and authentication left before mailing it to our agency to go to China!) I felt sad.  As I thought about the blog that went live I also felt like a fraud.  Who was I to write positive things about trusting God and waiting in peace and joy when I felt so sad?  This longing is something I've never experienced before.

Then after getting the papers notorized we grabbed Taco Bell and ran home to meet my Aunt Shari who had given us a Christmas gift of going to Winter Jam and babysitting Edmund.

We were sitting in our seats and Matthew asked me how I felt.  I said sad.  I was thinking about our girl and how long it would be until I could hold her.  To make matters worse the sponsor of the event was Holt International.  So there were videos and speakers who shared  moving stories about children who weren't wanted and needed to be adopted.  All I could think was, I am trying to adopt but it's so hard, complicated, and so long.  So very long.

After the intermission we moved to the front to hear and sing with Crowder.  I love David Crowder.  When you go to a concert the words are on the screen and it is a big praise session to God.  So one of the songs started.  It is called, "I Am."

Here are the beginning of the lyrics:

"There's no space that His love can't reach
There's no place where we can't' find peace
There's no end to amazing grace

Take me in with Your arms spread wide
Take me in like an orphan child
Never let go
Never leave my side

I am
Holding on to you
I am
Holding on to you
In the middle of the storm
I am holding on
I am"

I didn't really remember the first verse, but when it came to the chorus I closed my eyes and sang to Jesus. I wanted Him to hold me and was thanking Him for holding me.  I put one of my hands to my heart and my fingers touched my necklace. And my fingers curled around it instinctively.

My cousin Brianna gave me this beautiful necklace for Christmas.  I've been wearing it basically non-stop since then.  I like tangible things to hold on to, to represent the intangible.  So when I wear it and feel it I think of our daughter and pray for her.

So in that moment.  The chorus is starting.

Thousands are singing, "I am...Holding on to you..."

My hand touches my heart to communicate to God my heart's longing and my hand touches the precious reminder of my daughter.  

Thousands continue to sing, "I am....Holding on to you...In the middle of the storm....I am holding on...I am!"

And inside God spoke, outside of me in the song God spoke. These words you are singing. They are for her.  For your little girl. I AM holding on to her.  In whatever storms she goes through.  However long it takes to bring her to you.  I AM holding on to her.  I always have, I AM, and I always will be holding on to her.

It's just like that -- I was alone in that moment. With God speaking to me through song.

I AM
Holding on to her
I AM
Holding on to her
In the middle of her storms
I AM holding on
I AM

At the right time, at exactly the right time, God will bring us together. And He has been, is, and will always be holding on to her.

And to me.

My heart still grieve the time we will be apart.  But I AM is holding on to her and I just keep sing those words in my heart and praying for her to come home soon.



Thank you Aunt Shari for your gift that went beyond just a concert.  Thank you Brianna for a gift that goes beyond just a symbol.  God used your gifts to speak peace to me this week during a very hard time.

Fingerprint Appointment!

On Wednesday, November  25 we mailed our 1-800A form to USCIS. 

On Monday, December 7 we got a letter of notice in the mail saying that had received our application.

On Thursday, December 17 we got a letter with our fingerprint appointment for Monday, December 28th!

I get giddy when I get to take another step in the adoption process.  Another step closer to our daughter.  

After the fingerprint appointment we will wait again to see if we have been approved or not.  If we are (which I am praying we are) then all our paperwork for the dossier has been gathered and we then have to get everything notorized (no big deal), certified (bigger deal because we drive to Harrisburg to get that done) and then authenticated (biggest deal because we have to get all of the documents to New York, wait three days, and get them). 

But the dossier is getting closer and closer to being done!  I might be looking forward to Christmas but what I am really looking forward to is getting our fingerprints on the 28th.  That is an answer to prayer because it is during Matthew's school break so he doesn't have to take any time off and we can go together while Edmund get's watched by my mom. I am so thankful for how God has worked out that timing.

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I also wanted to share how God is showing Himself to us through this adoption process.

My husband, Matthew turned on a Christmas CD and one of the songs is "All I Really Want for Christmas" by Steven Curtis Chapman.

Matthew said that this song had always touched his heart.

Which reminded me of another song by Steven Curtis Chapman called, "When Love Takes You In."

As we watched the music video for "When Love Takes You In" my heart filled with a longing. 

 A longing I have so often, that aches to draw our daughter into our arms and say we love her.

 

Something that is really difficult to deal with is knowing that I am not taking care of her since conception.  I have no idea if she cries alone, or if she has a loving arms to hold her.  I have no idea if she is afraid or hurting.  The "what ifs" can paralyze my heart.  I want her to know.  To tell her, "We're coming! Keep holding on!  We love you so, so much!"  I wonder if she is feeling alone, abandoned, forgotten.... If she only knew that we were doing all we could to come to her soon.

Then a thought came to me.  My longing for my daughter is like Jesus' longing for us.  Jesus is watching us, saying, "Hold on!  I am coming soon! If you just hold on a little longer I'll be there!  Don't give up living and trying.  I'm coming!"

I can feel the longing for our daughter.  The ache and tears for her.  I cannot imagine Jesus' ache and longing for us.  I don't want her to give up or lose hope, we are coming for her! Each day we are coming for her!

And don't you give up.  Jesus is coming for you.  If it was only you He would come.  Hold on.  He is coming soon and His heart has more love for you that you could ever imagine.

This is part what adoption is teaching me.

How God Provides in Grace and Works

I posted this on blogging community I am a writer for Established In Grace.  But I wanted to share it here too. 
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Grace and Works = Grants and Jobs

You probably already know this.  Adoption is expensive.  I am not going to get into all the debate and drama that comes from that.  But let’s suffice to say that most people who adopt cannot financially do it on their own.  Many people say that they would adopt if it weren’t for the cost.

My husband, Matthew, and I are both educators.  I began staying at home with our son when he was born, so we live off of one income.  During the time I worked, we set aside some of what I was making toward adoption. So we had a “nest egg” to begin our adoption process with. Even so, we knew we would be fundraising and applying for grants.

To apply for most grants you have to have completed your home study. A home study is where your physical home is inspected and there are multiple interviews conducted with the prospective parents–as well as lots of background checks.  All of that is done to ensure that the child will be in a safe, loving home that is able to provide for their needs.  We had gone through the home study process but were waiting to hear back, so I filled out as many of the multiple grant applications as I could without having our home study.  Then I had to wait.  I prayed for the home study process to hurry, I prayed that we would get the grants when we filed them.  But one day I prayed that whatever way God wanted to provide the money for our girl to come home to us, that He would do that.

Then a temporary part-time job opportunity came up.  That I could do mostly from home.  When this happened I knew that it was from God.  He was providing adoption money.  Not through a grant this time, but through work.  And it was work that I could do while staying at home with my son.  When I estimate what I will make during my time working, it will be able to size of a medium grant. And I am humbled.  God is so good to offer me a job that would be at just the perfect time to aid in our financial needs as we work toward bringing our daughter home.


It made me think about grace and works.  Both are so essential in our walk with Christ.  The Bible speak of God adopting us.  So it is too, with our adoption that grace and works are integrated into this journey.

As I study the Bible I find that “works” is the seal of the overflowing of Jesus working in me.  So it is all Him, no matter what.  This job is like works.  It is still from God but I must do my best–working to bring glory to His Name in thanksgiving for what He has given me.  Working is a joy to do when love is the motivator.  And in our adoption as sons and daughters of God it is our joy to do the things of God.

Grace is receiving something we didn’t work for.  It is a gift.  Just like a grant is a gift.  I do not earn that money, but it is a gift toward bringing our girl home.  Grace in our Christian walk is a gift of forgiveness and new life.  Grace the foundation of our adoption as sons and daughters of God.
We received our approved home study right before Thanksgiving and I’ve applied for many grants.  I am praying that God will bless those grant applications–praying for grace.  But at the same time I am filled with such joy as I work each day in this job that God has given me.  Each day is another step closer to our girl.  One day we will bring her home because of all the glory of God in grace and works. She is deeply loved and longed for.

Home Study Approval!

I have been waiting and checking the mail expectantly and anxiously.

I was told that last week on Thursday our approved home study was going to be notarized.  And I hoped mailed that day too.

So I have been watching our mailbox.  You see, the next step is to send immigration forms and documents off to USCIS so we can get approval to bring our daughter home from China, into America to become a United States Citizen.  From what we have read and been told, this process can take up to two months, so I have been wanting to get the home study back so we can send it in, along with the other documents needed for this.



Yesterday I saw the mail truck coming as I was leaving the house and turned around so I could check the mail.  There was nothing in the mailbox.  Literally nothing.

So today I checked it once and then saw that other neighbors still had flags up so I was going to check it when Edmund, our son, woke up from his second nap.

For Thanksgiving my dad and brother are visiting, and my dad offered to go check the mail and see if it was there.  I doubted it was there but said that would be nice.

He came back with a big manila envelope and said, "Pinebrook Family Answers?"  I jumped up and said yes and grabbed the packet!  I was so excited.  I have been waiting for this for about six weeks, and at the longest I thought it would take four weeks.  It may not seem that much longer to anyone else, but I wanted to hurry and get this so I could mail off everything to USCIS.  The USCIS documents are the last documents I have to receive before we get them all certified (by the secretary of state) and authenticated (by the Chinese embassy of our region).

So this is the last huge piece we need to gather.

After checking and re-checking and re-checking that I had all of it correctly done and together we went to a mailing center and mailed the documents.

I feel so, so happy.  I feel light.  It seems like so much emotion for pieces of paper and mailing things out. But it is so much more.  It is another step closer to our girl.  Another step that brings us closer to having her in our arms.

It is amazing, how much we love her.  It is joyous to know that she is growing in our hearts and that God is holding her in His arms for us.