Pressing In

From my Established in Grace blog post.

_______________

Sometimes it's in the middle of the day. The deep ache for our daughter.  Sometimes I wake up with a prayer for her on my heart and I plead with God, knowing  He loves her more than I do, to be near her and bring her home to us soon.  I don't always know when it will come but it does come.  The ache and the longing.  But each time it presses me to pray.

I was texted with another adoptive mother and I said, "It is the waiting and the unknown that presses us more into God, isn't it? I can't bear the separation from our girl and so I press into God more and more."

It is like burying my head again my Father's shoulder.

I pull out my Bible and journal and I write. I pray the promises God has for her and for us.

John 14:18, "I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you."

And I press deeper into Jesus. Deeper into God our Father.  Deeper into the Holy Spirit Comforter.

Luke 18:27, "[Jesus] replied, 'What is impossible with man is possible with God.'"

And I pray bolder, louder, persistently.  And I press into Him.  Savior, Father, Comforter.

We went to visit our dear friends in Massachusetts over our spring break and on Sabbath we took a beautiful walk in Ashley Reservoir.   It was a bit cold and for most of the walk our little boy, Edmund was happy.  Matthew carried him in the backpack-carrier for a while and then near the end he squirmed to get out and wanted me to hold him.

But he didn't just want to be held. He wanted to curl up tight against me. He wanted his legs tucked up tight against me and his head buried into my shoulder.

He needed me and I cuddled him up and held him close. I loved his little body curled up into me. I didn't mind his need for me, instead I felt love pour through me for him and our relationship that makes him feel safe with me.  His need for me was based on our relationship and him knowing that I would love him.

I didn't mind at all.

God doesn't mind at all. 

Do you find yourself aching?  The love in your heart hurting?  Press into God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.  Open up the Word of God and see all the promises and love He has for you, and press deeper into Him.