There has been some very exciting steps for us recently. We wanted to share these with you!
On January 19th we got our addendum to our home study. That meant we had all the paperwork for the dossier!
CELEBRATE having all our documents!
So January 20th Edmund and I drove to our Secretary of State's office to get all the documents certified. The people there were so kind and helpful there, from the guard at the entrance who directed me the correct way, to the ladies who collected the documents to be certified. I was so thankful.
We were finished there in less than 30 minutes! I took our certified documents and headed toward the mailing place I have been using.
CELEBRATE all our documents being certified!
We went to this mail place I have been using (Edmund was so good this entire day and I thank God for this!) and had copies made, money-order purchased, and finally got all of our documents mailed off to our courier in New York to bring to the Chinese Consulate!
CELEBRATE all our documents being sent for this final step before we send them all to our agency!
That was on Wednesday. On Friday night we got a huge snow storm. But I was tracking our package and it made it there Friday afternoon. I was so thankful to God that He got it there before the snow so I wouldn't be worrying about it.
On Tuesday, January 26th I got an email from our courier saying that our documents were at the Chinese Consulate and they would be mailed back to us on the 4th!
CELEBRATE our documents being at the Chinese Consulate!
So, this Friday I will be excitedly tracking our package to come back to us so that I can make more copes and send it off to our agency, CCAI!
We have also started fundraising! Some of you know but we have been applying for grants and have had 3 denials so far. So we have decided to go ahead with fundraising. As of last night we had 47 of 150 envelopes donated for! We are almost 1/3 of the day through our fundraiser. There are small, medium, and large amounts left. We really are humbled and so appreciative of each sacrifice to given to bring our little girl home.
Continue to pray for us, please. And for Yin to come home soon. So, very soon.
I posted this picture on my Instagram account over eight months ago. Way before we announced our adoption publicly, and before we even had told most of our family that we had definitely decided to adopt.
My caption said: New journal tonight. ❤️
That night we started journaling to our little girl. Much in the same way that we journaled to Edmund the first day we found out we were pregnant (his journal is the animal print on the left, hers is the right with the umbrellas).
As we've been journaling to her I have wanted a name to call her. An endearment of some kind in Chinese. But when I tried to look up words and their translations I didn't feel like any of them fit. So I just left it alone and hope at some point to find the right endearment.
One Saturday when my step-dad and mom came back from church they were sharing about what they had studied in church. One thing that my step-dad shared was how in Genesis 20 there is a word when dealing with Sarah that has a root word that in Hebrew means "longed for." I immediately thought of our daughter and how she is deeply longed for. But when I did a brief search I couldn't find the Hebrew word.
Shortly after that I was reading Proverbs and felt that I should stop at a particular verse and do verse mapping. (Verse mapping is an incredible Bible study tool, I highly recommend it!) As I got to the part where I look up the original words and their meanings I remembered about Genesis 20, so I paused and went there using the app I use for word study during verse mapping. When I found the verse I pulled up the word "silver" and then clicked into the root word. The root word for silver is kacaph which means, "to long for, yearn for, long after, to long for deeply."
And suddenly I thought, what if "silver" translated in Chinese was something nice and easy that I could call our daughter? Something that to me and in Hebrew meant deeply longed for? So I looked it up.
The translation for silver is Yín.
Simple and perfect. I felt a rush of peace and joy. I had a name to call her. An endearment that shows exactly how I feel for her.
This week has been a rollercoaster for me emotionally.
Monday was incredible! We got our 1-800A approval. The last big piece to our dossier!
Tuesday morning I read during morning worship “Like the endless movement of stars and planets, God’s plans are not rushed or delayed.” (Messiah p. 21) I felt God calling me to peace and joy during this journey of so much waiting.
Tuesday I wrote a blog for Established in Grace that would go live Thursday about what God has shared with me Tuesday about waiting.
Wednesday I saw a beautiful little girl on Show Hope's website, and inquired to know more about her with our agency. She will most likely be matched with someone who has been waiting much longer than we have. That made me wonder how long we'd have to wait to be matched. The average time is 18-24 months.
Thursday I called our agency to find out more about our timeline. The lady I spoke to went over our medical checklist and said that someone else who had a similar checklist had waited 28 months from start to being matched. Which means it was probably about 32 months until they went and got their child.
Thirty-two months. 32 months. Thirty-two months.
That is about 6 months longer than the longest I was hoping for. It might sound silly to you, but I felt crushed. Six months isn't forever, but when we're only about 5 months into this process it feels like forever. I want to be with her now.
Then we went and got all of our paperwork, that wasn't already notorized, notorized.
Even though getting all that notorized is a big step (we only have certification and authentication left before mailing it to our agency to go to China!) I felt sad. As I thought about the blog that went live I also felt like a fraud. Who was I to write positive things about trusting God and waiting in peace and joy when I felt so sad? This longing is something I've never experienced before.
Then after getting the papers notorized we grabbed Taco Bell and ran home to meet my Aunt Shari who had given us a Christmas gift of going to Winter Jam and babysitting Edmund.
We were sitting in our seats and Matthew asked me how I felt. I said sad. I was thinking about our girl and how long it would be until I could hold her. To make matters worse the sponsor of the event was Holt International. So there were videos and speakers who shared moving stories about children who weren't wanted and needed to be adopted. All I could think was, I am trying to adopt but it's so hard, complicated, and so long. So very long.
After the intermission we moved to the front to hear and sing with Crowder. I love David Crowder. When you go to a concert the words are on the screen and it is a big praise session to God. So one of the songs started. It is called, "I Am."
Here are the beginning of the lyrics:
"There's no space that His love can't reach
There's no place where we can't' find peace
There's no end to amazing grace
Take me in with Your arms spread wide
Take me in like an orphan child
Never let go
Never leave my side
I am
Holding on to you
I am
Holding on to you
In the middle of the storm
I am holding on
I am"
I didn't really remember the first verse, but when it came to the chorus I closed my eyes and sang to Jesus. I wanted Him to hold me and was thanking Him for holding me. I put one of my hands to my heart and my fingers touched my necklace. And my fingers curled around it instinctively.
My cousin Brianna gave me this beautiful necklace for Christmas. I've been wearing it basically non-stop since then. I like tangible things to hold on to, to represent the intangible. So when I wear it and feel it I think of our daughter and pray for her.
So in that moment. The chorus is starting.
Thousands are singing, "I am...Holding on to you..."
My hand touches my heart to communicate to God my heart's longing and my hand touches the precious reminder of my daughter.
Thousands continue to sing, "I am....Holding on to you...In the middle of the storm....I am holding on...I am!"
And inside God spoke, outside of me in the song God spoke. These words you are singing. They are for her. For your little girl. I AM holding on to her. In whatever storms she goes through. However long it takes to bring her to you. I AM holding on to her. I always have, I AM, and I always will be holding on to her.
It's just like that -- I was alone in that moment. With God speaking to me through song. I AM Holding on to her I AM Holding on to her In the middle of her storms I AM holding on I AM
At the right time, at exactly the right time, God will bring us together. And He has been, is, and will always be holding on to her.
And to me.
My heart still grieve the time we will be apart. But I AM is holding on to her and I just keep sing those words in my heart and praying for her to come home soon.
Thank you Aunt Shari for your gift that went beyond just a concert. Thank you Brianna for a gift that goes beyond just a symbol. God used your gifts to speak peace to me this week during a very hard time.
